Breaking Up with the Boyfriend I Still Love

Breaking up is never easy. Both people get hurt most of the time. But breaking up knowing you still love that person and that person still loves you and a part of you kinda doesn’t want to break up is even harder. My ex boyfriend and I were together for 3 years and 6 months. I was in love with him just like he was with me, and I still love him just like he still loves me. So what happened?

We started dating my freshman year in highschool which was his sophomore year. We were highschool sweethearts, and we talked about a future together. We thought we could survive anything, until this summer.

Dating someone at a young age for so long is not an easy task, you both grow up, and you have to grow up together if you want a future for your relationship. What happened with my boyfriend and I was that our needs and wants were different. I was about to go to college, I wanted to go to Mexico for an entire summer, I didn’t want to move in with him because I wasn’t ready for that. I became distant. He cared so much for me and still does. He was trying to become an overall better person even though I still thought he was perfect.

My dad told me dating for a long time at my age is unhealthy because I should be out living my life without anything or anyone to hold me back, and that I shouldn’t have to worry about anyone else. I didn’t really pay attention to what he said at first because I was still kinda in love with my boyfriend, but somehow being in love turned into just love, and seeing him as my boyfriend turned into seeing him as my best friend that I never wanted to let go of. I didn’t want to lose him as a person or as my friend and that’s what terrified me.

I became more distant, we argued a little more than usual but it wasn’t too bad. We always fixed our problems no matter what. He started asking all these questions and that’s when I knew he also thought about breaking up. It wasn’t just his questions, it was what he needed and the fact that I wasn’t what he needed just like he isn’t what I need right now. I need to enjoy college just like he needs to do his own thing. I want to go to Mexico for Christmas and all of summer and joining a sorority, all which are things he did not approve. We also both want to see other people because we’re so young and have the world at our fingertips. We want so many things, but for some we need to be on our own for them.

And it wasn’t just the growing up apart that made us need a break from one another, it was also the fact that we didn’t make each other as happy as we used to.

We held it off for quite some time, thinking we could fix things, pretending we were going to be together forever without separating but finally we had to say goodbye to our relationship. We’re still friends, we’re best friends actually, and we’re going to continue to talk and hangout because you don’t just toss aside the person you’ve been with for almost 4 years. We still love each other and saying “I love you” while having to walk away from your person is the hardest part of breaking up.

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